Welcome back to Educate with Art Senses This is the second video about Long Distance Parenting Relationship with your kids, if you didn´t listen the first video, you can do it by clicking on the link below So let´s get started with the next tips: 8
Spend a couple of hours per week for instance to search about distance fun activities for kids You can watch a movie together, discuss some interesting educational activity with them and even have dinner together! A pizza!!! You will need of course the collaboration of the adult in charge on the other side, it could be your ex-something and it can be sometimes difficult to manage that But let me tell you that if your kids are really engaged with you and have a healthy relationship with you, they have a huge power to make things happen Believe me… They may be sitting on the couch with the device between them You are all together watching a movie, making comments together discussing an issue and share opinions Use your imagination and create habits with them
You may have dinner with them as they can put the device literally on the table and you all are having a conversation about any subject and sharing a pizza! Make a project or plan an activity with them I have to share with you a very funny episode that happened between a father and his daughter: His daughter has invited a number of schoolmates to her home because of a robot project Her father was going to teach them to build a robot! They were all excited! She had already gathered all the necessary material that both had been previously listed in a previous Skype session! The truth was that when her schoolmates arrived, they were all at least surprised when they greeted her father through Skype, where her father really was He also made an effort to fix their names! It didn’t take much time for this dad to put order into the group and begin immediately setting rules before they start to build the robot He gave the essential information, and minutes later they were all following her dad instructions to build the robot! She already knew where to put her tablet so her dad could have a wide view of the place they would be building the robot! For some details she would bring her tablet and show to her father some detail
Those kids never forgot that experience! I assure you that when one of them wanted to say something or ask something to her father, you could see him or her with the finger up waiting for his or her turn to talk! The robot was really cool! And her father too! 9 Surprise your kids with cool, funny and interesting messages when they are offline If it is not possible to establish communication for some reason, you can always surprise your kids leaving a cool video, a funny photo or recording yourself on a video It's always a good surprise when children turn the Skype on and have a video message from their parent Avoid asking them why they were not on Skype, that you had been waiting and waiting for them and nothing…Sometimes it´s really hard not seeing that green online signal on the screen Even worse when there are no signal at all but you should not put pressure on them
You are the adult here, you handle the situation You can be wiser and tell them that you have something to show them that it was not possible on the missing call If everything it´s ok, than move on for another topic, an interesting one 10 Explore with your kids some secret codes for your communication, just between you! Imagine your own codes together
Get a symbol or specific gesture to say "I love you", "I need to talk to you", "I need to talk to you urgently!", “I’m not ok”, “Call me!”, whatever! It can be texting or making a gesture that only you both know its meaning It´s cool, intimate and it contributes for a close relationship It also helps you to understand quickly what is going on when you can’t speak with words 11 For the “goodbye” Skype session make a descendent count It´s really hard when you have to go after your Skype session
It can be stressful and a painful moment for you to put an end on the conversation because one of you must go After your session and to avoid the hard decision who will turn off the Skype first, I suggest you to make a 3 to 1 descendant count together Get your kids used to make the goodbye count all together with that usual rhythmic pace: 3, 2, 1…”off”! The rule is to turn off Skype connection when you reach zero and at the same time! And it´s done! 12 Learn some of your kid’s college’s names Write them all in a piece of paper It´s important to know your kids friends and colleges
Your kids will appreciate it You have also the opportunity to know them more, what they are doing, issues between them and eventually alert signs And you are in, actively participating on their daily lives, knowing those daily issues at school, helping them managing their emotions and giving them suggestions about any situation they need to solve! Remember to have this kind of approach: “Hey, let me know if you handle it or if you want to talk a little more about it!” You are present! 13 Have bedtime conversation ritual with your kids Have a kiss “night night” in some days on the week if possible Your kids may have the tablet on the bed for a while and you all are having the end of the day conversation
Ideally, if you have more than one child you should promote moments with each of them separately You only need 10 min to chat with each one A calm and relaxed conversation You are promoting much closer relationship comparing, unfortunately, too many families that live together in the same house And don´t worry if you see your screen all turn into dark, you are receiving a big hug from your child! 😉 14 If for some reason you will not be able to use Skype, leave them a message Don’t leave your kids waiting for your Skype call If you will be out for some days or on that precise time you have a professional meeting or you will be somewhere with no internet connection, or for any other reason just send them a message, of any kind, explaining that you’ll be out
Give them always a new date for you to chat Do not leave them without having notices from you You may think that they don’t care or that they didn’t even bother because they have so much things to do like school, play, having funbut they miss you even though they don’t verbalise it If for any reason it was not possible at all warning them, on the first opportunity that comes you will send them a message, at least saying something like "Guys, I couldn’t be on Skype yesterday, I’m sorry! I will Skype you tomorrow! I´ll explain you later! Got to go now!!! Love you! Bye" It´s an important detail that it will only nurture your relationship and it shows them that you care 15 Have connections with other parents in the same situation as you You are not the only one with a long distance relationship with your kids Be in touch with other parents, share ideas
You may help other parents that don’t know how to deal with distance parenting Also you may get new ideas with other parent’s experiences and keep nurturing your relationship with your kids You know there is always the missing physic contact but the distance is a fact and you cannot solve it on that moment However these children maintain a very healthy relationship with you and they know they can count on you Relationship remains absolutely untouchable
You are aware of their development and growth despite the distance limitation You are sensible on changes in the responses, attitudes and kind of conversations they have with you in a consistent basis You start to discover other ways to care of each other and being accomplices In this perspective, using Skype or any other method of voice/image communication, the distance is only a matter of physical touch limitation Follow those tips, imagine new ones that fits better with you and your kids
The experience becomes a game, and hundreds miles away from each other or from a room to another, Far is Near! Again, if you didn´t listen the first video you can do it by clicking on the link below That´s it for now Like! Subscribe! And I´ll see you real soon!
