Authoritative Parenting Style: 9 Parenting Tips For Setting High Expectations

Are you interested in learning some practical steps and tips on how to be an Authoritative Parent? If so, I’m going to walk you through my 9 steps on how to be a caring but high expectation setting and firm mom and dad For the best parenting advice and tips on YouTube, subscribe to my channel now and hit the bell so you’ll be notified when I post my new video every Thursday

I bet that you’re a parent that wants to set clear limits and maintain discipline but you want to do it in a reasonable and fair way By the end of this video, I’ll share my 9 tips on how to be an Authoritative Parent My name is Iftikhar Khan and I’m the editor of seed2stemcom, a blog that helps parents who wants to raise stem mindset kids Let’s get started

A critically important part of Authoritative Parenting is constantly working to develop and maintain a pastoral relationship with your child It’s simple Talk to your child regularly and constantly, ask hem how their day went, know who their best friends are, give them an opportunity to vent when they had a tough day Now, this is easy to do when a child is young but it gets harder over time I’m really lucky, my wife is amazing at this

My son regularly confides in her when he’s uncomfortable in school, had a great recess soccer game or just needs some advice Now, this second step is a little bit harder It’s very natural when our children are struggling for parents to want to step in and help out I remember the first time I moved to California and my son was having a hard time making friends Now, it was personally painful for me watching him struggle and be a bit sad but I’m glad I didn’t intervene and I gave him the space to sort things out

The reality is Life is Hard and while it’s important that we are aware as parents when our kids are struggling or sad, it’s also important that we give them the space to solve most of their own problems using a reason but to be clear, this doesn’t mean parents shouldn’t give advice to their kids It just means you should smart about how and when you do it My son and I were hiking the other day and while we were walking, he told me about a competitive soccer match at recess that was really important for him to win Now, I could see this game was stressing him out So, I advised him to just relax and then play for the sake of playing

I thought this was an amazing advice and he was going to really appreciate it but he definitely did not He was super upset at me and he accused me of not listening to him He wanted me to empathize and listen to his concerns and yet instead, he felt like I was lecturing him Now, we both shutdown We both were upset at each other

We both felt like we weren’t listening to each other and we finished the hike in silence Do me a favor, will you comment below on what I as a parent should have done when my kid told me about the soccer game And if you’re curious about what I think I should have done now in retrospect and after reflection, and also, you can see my thoughts in the comment section of YouTube Authoritative Parenting isn’t just about being emotionally connected to your child because Permissive Parenting does that as well What makes Authoritative Parenting different is that they establish clear rules and explain why those rules exist

My kids know that they do not get to turn on the TV or play video games without asking They don’t get to drink soft drinks when they’re not on vacation and my son knows that he better show me his math homework every single day They also know why every rule exists That doesn’t mean they always get it or that they have a say in the matter but they at least know there’s a good reason why every rule exists The best way to do this is to write your family rules down

Life is complicated enough without having to remember every single rule Now, discipline is necessary to raising kids and sometimes, that’s going to mean you’re going to need punishments but too many punishments can cause anxiety in your child and when anxiety occurs, what happens in the brain is Cortisol’s released and when Cortisol’s released in the brain, what happens is the heart rate increases and what happens in your body is your body goes into fight or flight mode like you’re just reacting You’re not thinking, you’re reacting And long term, this shuts down creativity and thought in our kids Instead of punishments, how about, if your kids gets ready on time for school, they get to play with electronics? Or to earn a story time, you gotta go to bed on time

Another difference between Permissive Parenting and Authoritative Parenting is expectation setting The reality is that our kids often aren’t going to make the best decisions because they’re still developing their ability to think long term So, it’s our job as parents to set high expectations for our kids Here are a few examples of how me and Robby as parents set high expectations for our kids For example, we expect our kids to get their homework done on time without prompting

We expect our kids to read their five daily prayers and say the Quran before school A core component of life is making decisions and the best way of making decisions is by weighing the pros versus the cons Now, most of the fun and easy things to do in life have consequences if abused So, make sure your child understands the cons so they make better decisions For example, we told our kids that if they ever went behind the swimming pool fence, we ban them from ever using the pool again and more importantly, they’ll be taking a very dangerous and unacceptable risk

One of the keys to having a successful life is making good choices The sooner your child learns the skill, the better So, try to find the opportunities to give your child choices and the opportunity to learn from their mistakes For me, it’s important that my children do their own homework and especially their own creative projects with minimal input from myself My son did his own science fair project and I gave him a little bit of help and s little bit of coaching but I’ve seen many many examples where parents essentially do their science fair projects for them

Now, the result that my son out together were definitely greater than his peers It definitely didn’t look as nice, it didn’t look as professional Maybe he didn’t use all the right words, fancy words that other students had in their science fair project but it was authentic and it showed a sense of ownership Now, how did my kid do? He went first place and he learned some valuable lessons along the way So, while we should emotionally connect with our kids, there is a difference between a parent and a child which a child must understand

Children need to respect parents and adults They don’t have to like everything a parent says but they need to respect it In my household, we don’t tolerate eye rolling or back talk If those rules are broken, there are going to be punishments The final step is the most simple but it’s also the most powerful

Tell your child, “I love you” Every night when I kiss my kids goodnight, I tell them, “I love you” Even during periods of stress or family tension These three words have the incredible power to dissolve any tension and it puts a smile on everyone’s face Ok

So, now you know how to be an Authoritative Parent But I realize that there was a lot of material that we covered and so, wouldn’t it be nice if there was a simple checklist that was reminding you of the path that you need to take? So, I created a one-page checklist on how to be an Authoritative Parent While research shows this parenting style is the most effective for raising kids, it’s also the hardest to implement So, download the checklist for free, the link is below in the YouTube description So, what do you think of the 9 tips? Am I missing a tip or do you have a great example of a parenting tip that you can share with everyone here? If so, please leave a comment below

If you want to see examples of different parenting types, then check out my YouTube video Parenting style examples (4 types of parenting styles) The video has examples from different movies including Mary Poppins, American Beauty, Despicable Me, Mean Girls and much much more If this video was helpful, will you please subscribe to my channel? Share it with your friends or hit the like button? This lets me know to make more videos like this If you’re interested in joining a community of parents just like you, then sign up for my seed2stem Facebook community group

We’ll try to answer your questions alright? See you next time

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