Permissive Parenting (The Pros & Cons of this Parenting Style)

Have you heard about permissive parenting and trying to figure out if this is the right parenting style for you? Watch this video to see the pros and cons of this parenting style For the best parenting advice and tips on YouTube subscribe to my channel now and hit the bell to be notified when I post a new video every Thursday

I bet you want your children to be empowered innovative emphatic decision makers and loving human beings Maybe your parents were overly strict or demanding with you and you know that you do not want to follow their example Perhaps you've seen examples of helicopter parents micromanaging their kids and you've determined that you do not want to be that type of parent So you turn to permissive parenting As the parent of two children I can empathize with all of you who are in this situation

All of the above points resonate with me however permissive parenting may not be the right approach for you in this video I'll define permissive parenting and shared the clues that will tell you if you are a permissive parent I'll then share 7 reasons why I think permissive parenting is a disaster for kids lastly I'll share my tips on what you could do to be a better parent including giving you access to the family rules we use in my house my name is Iftikhar and I am the editor of seed2stemcom a parenting blog focused on helping parents raise stem mindset kids let's get started so what is a permissive parent well a permissive parent rejects the idea that children should be controlled or constrained in any way and a permissive parent enables and encourages their child to make their own decisions so are you a permissive parent well answer these questions and if the answer to most of them is yes then you are a permissive parent so first of all do you allow your child to treat you or others in a way that you would not let your friends coworkers and siblings treat you do you allow your child to make most of their own decisions including what they wear what they eat when to sleep how they learn and how they enjoy themselves do you try to limit using the word no or create rules only for the most necessary situations do you try to avoid a confrontation with your child do you love your child trusting them to make their own mistakes do you have to bribe your child do things example give your child an iPhone at the restaurant or pay your child for chores and do you want to be best friends with your child where they see you as an equal rather than an authority figure so I suspect you at least identified with a couple of the examples I just gave you permissive parenting the intent is to be loving and supportive parents the intention is often rooted in love, trust and democratic ideals however the result can be disastrous even though parents trying to raise caring innovative decision making children here are seven reasons why children of permissive parents learn that they don't need to follow the rules to succeed since there are little to no rules at home your child will not know how to deal with regulations outside of the house your child may be successful even up to middle school in a no-rules environment but good luck in high school college and in their career where systems and rules are necessary second your child doesn't learn the concept of consequences if your child isn't consistently learning that breaking rules have consequences they'll probably struggle with accountability they'll almost certainly have issues dealing with people in authority such as teachers and managers #3 your child learns that they can only be happy if they get what they want if your child doesn't learn to live within certain limits and rules they'll have a hard time later in life dealing with any setback resistance or challenge resilience will be critical for the highest paying jobs in the 21st century #4 your child's emotional intelligence is negatively impacted especially during teamwork and group activities since in work and in school you rarely get what you want and instead have to collaborate through listening and challenging a child that hasn't learned these skills is gonna be very frustrated in group settings Think of that person at work who is always preaching on behalf of their own needs and is not capable of listening to the needs of the group do you want your child to be that guy or girl? #5

Your child can make disastrous decisions that have severe negative impacts including to their health and well-being many studies have shown that children of permissive parents are more likely to increase their alcohol and drug use among teenagers to learn more check out Reimuller, Hussong, Ennett 2011 study on this topic #6 when your child is trained to only react to bribes which is a common case of permissive parenting your child learns to become externally motivated rather than internally motivated if the only way you get your child to do something is by bribing them your child loses the internal drive to do something for the sake of getting better or improving things Here's a great quote from a book that I absolutely love it's by Daniel H Pink and it's called Drive the Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us the quote is for artists scientists inventors school children and the rest of us intrinsic motivation the drive to do something because it is interesting challenging and absorbing is essential for higher levels of creativity so the seventh reason why I'm not a big fan of permissive parenting is your child is at risk of becoming a low achiever I think back to when you were a kid most of us just wanted to play or watch TV nowadays there are even more distractions without parents pushing their children to achieve more a child's at risk of being left behind in the global 21st century workforce where people from all over the world are competing from the same global job good luck finding a job if you are a low achiever now before we go any further I'd like to ask you if you know any parents who seem to be permissive parents From your observation please share one pro or con of Permissive Parenting in the comments below Do you think I'm being too negative and are the pros of permissive parenting that outweigh the negative? Again let us know by leaving a comment below right now

Okay so it's obvious that I'm not a big fan of permissive parenting well what do I suggest? First of all learn from the mistakes your parents made with you if your parents are overly strict or demanding with you, the answer is not to go to the extreme of becoming a permissive parent! Find the balance You can set high expectations and create boundaries for your child while being loving and caring Second establish some rules Ideally you can explain the why behind the rules to your child If necessary start small but start today

Don't allow any negotiation around the rules if you're wondering what rules to establish these are the rules we set in my household Visit the link in the video description below to get your free download of family rules We suggest you stick it in your fridge so that everyone understands the new laws of the household I've created a Microsoft Word version so you can easily change it to accommodate your family situation and values

Third follow through once the rules are set then they need to be followed Children need some structure If you aren't consistent, don't expect them to be! Make sure your kids understand the penalty for breaking the rules You can be firm and loving Lastly recognize good behavior

If your child is actively trying to follow the rules and meet your high expectations, then recognize it Everyone loves compliments and kind gestures Now and then sprinkle in other privileges or rewards Now that you know a little bit about permissive parenting would you like to see some more examples? If so check out my video, Permissive Parenting – Examples from TV, Movies and More If you're interested in joining a community of parents who are trying to be the best parents they can be, then request to join the seed2stem Facebook group and we'll do our best to help you

If you like this video please let me know by liking it below, subscribe, and share it with other parents and comment below the word "helpful" if this video helped you thanks

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