PARENTS PROVIDES SO MANY CHALLENGES IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP REBOOT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE DIFFERENT STYLES OF PARENTING AND HOW PARENTS SURVIVE
JOINING US IS OUR RELATIONSHIP GURU YOU BROUGHT A SPECIAL GUEST WITH YOU GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE LET'S START WITH THE CONCEPT OF GOOD ENOUGH PARENTING I HAVE BEEN READING ABOUT THIS
IT IS FASCINATING DONALD WINECOT WAS A PSYCHIATRIST IN THE 50s HE HAD AN ATTACHMENT THEORY UNDERSTANDING HOW BABIES FIRST RELATIONSHIPS WITH ATTACHMENT WE KNOW IT GOES THROUGH THE LIFE SPAN HE CAME UP WITH A CONCEPT OF GOOD ENOUGH MOTHERING
IN THE 50s WE WERE LOOKING AT MOMS IT IS FOR PARENTING, TOO HIS IDEA TO THRIVE IS CHILDREN DON'T NEED PERFECT PARENTS ALL THEY NEED IS A GOOD ENOUGH PARENT I THINK YOU ALL REMEMBER IF YOU HAD A STRICT PARENT OR A MORE RELAXED PARENT
YOU ARE SAYING THERE ARE THREE SPECIFIC TYPES EXACTLY THOSE THREE TYPES — WHICH WE MOVE IN ON OUT OF DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING STYLE IS A DEMOCRATIC PROCESS IT IS A GOOD PARENTING STYLE
ALL OF THESE STYLES ARE NOT GOOD OR BAD IS THAT LIKE A CEO-KIND OF PARENTING YOU HAVE A MEETING AND TALK ABOUT STUFF YOU HAVE AN AUTHORITATIVE FIGURE THE PARENT WILL MAKE THE FINAL CALL AND TAKE IDEAS FROM THE CHILD
THAT IS POPULAR RIGHT NOW MY WIFE FALLS INTO A MORE AUTHORITATIVE STYLE I AND MORE OF AN AUTHORITARIAN STYLE IT IS A DISTRICT DISCIPLINARIAN NOT A LOT OF GIVE AND TAKE IN TERMS OF NEGOTIATION WITH THE KIDS
I HAVE THREE BOYS MY WIFE DESCRIBES MY STYLE AS MORE OF A DRILL SERGEANT I THINK THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE IT BECAUSE I SAID SO RIGHT
I'M NOT YOUR PARENT I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND WE CAN BECOME FRIENDS BUT WE ARE NOT FRIENDS AT THIS POINT THE THIRD STYLE IS A PERMISSIVE PARENT THEY ARE RESPONSIVE AND ENGAGING BUT MORE PRONE TO GIVE THE CHILD SPACE TO LEARN AND DO ON THEIR OWN ALL THREE PARENTING STYLES ARE APPROPRIATE
GIVEN THE CHILD AND GIVEN THE CHILDREN IN THE HOUSEHOLD — OFTEN TIMES WHAT WE FIND IS IN DUAL PARENT HOUSEHOLDS YOU'LL FIND MULTIPLE STYLES I WOULD SAY I'M AUTHORITARIAN BUT I HAVE AUTHORITATIVE STYLES HERE AND THERE IT IS A MIXTURE THERE IS A BALANCE HOW DO COUPLES NAVIGATE THIS? COMMUNICATION IS REALLY IMPORTANT
ALSO AWARENESS IT IS LIKE COMMUNICATING AND BEING AWARE OF WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO AND HOW YOU WERE RAISED I WAS RAISED — I HAD PERMISSIVE PARENTS I TEND MORE TOWARDS THE PERMISSIVE AS I BECAME A THERAPIST I WANTED TO PULL IN MORE AUTHORITATIVE
I WOULD SAY I FALL WHERE YOUR WIFE FALLS I KNOW STRUCTURE IS REALLY IMPORTANT THAT IS SOMETHING I THINK PERMISSIVE PARENTS LET GO UP TO
